What is 30 Days @ $12.50?

THIS BLOG CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SO DON'T READ IT IF YOU LIKE TO WHINE ABOUT SHIT.

Here's the deal.

I like to eat out.  A lot.  As in all the time-- for almost every meal. As a working professional, part of my shtick involves fine dining around the clock.  I'm that asshole-- the one that takes a two hour lunch at a restaurant that looks like it came out of American Psycho (the finest piece of cinema ever filmed, of course).

Anyway, I made a bet with my wife-- that I would spend no more than $12.50 (including tax, gratuity, beverages, alcohol, etc.) per meal for the next 30 days.

Oh, it sounds easy, you say?  That's twelve tacos at Taco Bell, you say?  A veritable cornucopia of dollar menu vittles from McDonald's, you say?

Fuck that.

I don't eat that shit. Well, at least not when I'm sober.  No, I don't cook.  No, I don't plan on learning how to cook.  I plan on doing what I usually do-- eat out for just about every meal-- except this time, I'll be forced to eat gutter trash (most of the time).  I'm not a fat bastard and I don't plan on gorging myself on fast food for 30 days because it's cheap. Let's not forget the alcohol factor, too.  I'm a lawyer.  I love to drink, and I'm not talking dollar beers at that crappy dive bar college kids frequent.

Well, I'm sure fast food will happen a few times, but that's just part of the sacrifice.  So read on if you care to see me bitch about this.  Laugh at me, complain about me (I don't care what you think about anything anyway), love me, it doesn't matter. I needed to blog about this (blogging is such a lame term) because if I didn't "publicize" this bet, I'd last fifteen minutes.

Bon appétit! Well, not for me.