Good sir, how do you manage to stay so incredibly fit and sexy whilst dining out on the regular?
I'm more than happy to divulge my secrets to you, peons. It's not as if you'd be in any position to match my balanced lifestyle. So, without further ado, the secret[s]:
Go to a fitness club, you lazy fucks.
Please note that I said fitness club, not gymnasium. Gymnasium is a disgusting word; those "places" are usually located in bottom-tier high schools and low income areas. I once made the mistake of exercising in a gymnasium; it was replete with foul-smelling serfs and I was convinced someone had wiped elephant shit all over the treadmills.
So the bottom line is join a fitness club and exercise vigorously at least five days per week. There's nothing wrong with hitting the treadmill after a few drinks; you'll just throw up in your mouth a little. Nothing tastes as good as ripped feels.
Speaking of taste, my fitness club has a wonderful little cafe and serves health-conscious food, like the BLTT below (turkey bacon, lettuce, tomato, and turkey):
Yes, it's a fucking sandwich. Thankfully, the immediacy serves a purpose-- I can finish quickly and get home in order to pound a whey protein shake and feed my glorious muscles.
And that I did. That's how you do it, folks. Go and do likewise.
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