After the lunchtime debacle, I was ravenous. I was in an even worse mood because some of that used rubber tainted my simplehuman® wastebasket, so I had to discard it (I think my assistant took it, because I had her immediately fetch me a new simplehuman® wastebasket from the store).
Can you blame me? Of course not. Who knows where that foul shit had been before those sons of bitches had the audacity to box it up for me!?
BACK ON TOPIC, SIR.
I was honestly so famished I could have eaten a live honey badger (he don't give a fuck). In fact, I probably could have downed potted meat. What's that, you ask?
It's not just food, it's food product. EERILY, IT HAS THE SAME AESTHETICS AND APPARENT CONSISTENCY OF THE GARBAGE I "HAD" FOR LUNCH. But I was so hungry, I'd probably have eaten it (then vomited) and ultimately bitched about it here. Which is probably how I stomached what I ended up eating...
I went to a Texas favorite. Let's say it rhymes with Treeturds. For those that don't know, it's like Tex-Mex for fucking hipsters.
Of course, I fell prey to the steak option, which, at $6.75, I should have known wouldn't be steak. Some guy that looked like Buddy Holly took my order and walked down the aisle with me. I eschewed the tortilla; I can't maintain abs like The Situation and shovel carbs down my gullet at the same time.
They told me what I got was the "burrito bowl." It looked like this:
I told him it didn't look like a "burrito bowl." It looked like fucking slop. That's right, I had fucking slop for dinner. I imagine this is what Bernie Madoff's prison food resembles.
That said, I was so famished, I ate every last bit of my slop. It was good, but then again, the potted rubber product looked good, too.
Well, not anymore. Come to think of it, that slop looks unappetizing now as well.
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