I'll admit it right out of the gate-- I somewhat enjoyed this lunch. The food itself was decent; it was everything that went along with it which caused significant discomfort. I'll use this as an opportunity to educate on a topic near and dear to most ne'er-do-wells-- sandwiches.
It might help if you knew what I ate, eh [even though it obviously includes a fucking sandwich]? SANDWICH AND CHIPS FROM POTBELLY.
It was only about eight bucks and like I said, it wasn't bad. Here are my problems, though:
(1) I had to go downstairs again.
This one should have been obvious. The fucking stench is unreal.
(2) Sandwiches were invented to keep the ignorant masses working and cut down on "break" time.
Here comes the education session. I bet you did not know that the motherfucking FOURTH EARL OF SANDWICH invented these things to keep his bitches in line. By bitches, I mean the individuals that cleaned his toenails and washed his armpits and all that awesome stuff indentured servants did back in the heyday of awesome.
Basically, he was sick and tired of his wenches and gardeners and mechanics taking more than about nine minutes for a lunch break. One day, he smashed some meats and breads together and told them to EAT THE FUCKING THING AND GET BACK TO WORK.
That is why I can never truly enjoy a sandwich. It always feels like there's some dickbag standing behind you, tapping his watch, waiting for you to finish your break, punch back in, and start pressing buttons.
I find that kind of atmosphere unsettling and appalling. Sandwiches are associated with immediacy, not a proper meal. Not. For. Me.
(3) Who the fuck names a restaurant POTBELLY?
I really don't give a fuck how the place started. This is simply an unacceptable name and I don't think I can, in good conscience, eat at this establishment anymore. I saw the sign above the door, and the first fucking thing that came to mind:
Just look at that WILFORD BRIMLEY-LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER. Is this really the first image you want someone to think of when they're about to eat sandwiches!? Diabeetus.
Then again, who gives a fuck what sandwich savants think anyway, so perhaps these chaps are simply BRILLIANT.
LOL. I like the blog. And I love that you're trying to eat for less than $12.50 a day. But uh, wouldn't you be happier if you just shopped for vegetables and fruit and eggs. I suspect your $12.50 could go a lot farther.
ReplyDeleteup front: i'm a nerd.
ReplyDeletethe earl of sandwich invented the sandwich so he wouldn't have to stop his card game to eat. which i'm sure you will find even more admirable somehow. (and i mean that in the best possible way.)