Since I didn't eat breakfast, I decided to waste that "meal" on Happy Hour. I ended up at a local watering hole typically populated by the much-beloved $30,000 millionaire club. Why? Well, it's always fun to laugh at people who just bought a 2001 Mercedes-Benz C320 and think that's cool. ^__^
Unfortunately, I had to relegate myself to "well" drinks, because I wanted more than one. For those that don't know, well drinks are the cheapest pieces of shit on the bar menu. Well alcohol is typically made in the establishment's bathroom by combining simple things like 2-propanol, urine, and toilet water. Before a well drink is served to a patron, it is almost always stirred with a homeless man's penis.
For a mere $2.00 per drink, I chose "vodka" and soda. FIVE OF THEM.
I put vodka in quotation marks because the first three tasted like a cross between a fat person's sweat and three week old salami that was left outside. Thankfully, drinks number four and five tasted like dog taint, so there was a noticeable improvement.
I went to the jukebox, put in enough money to play Mickey Avalon's masterpiece "My Dick" on three times in a row, and left.
Time to find dinner.
No comments:
Post a Comment