♫ It's the most disgusting week of the year ♬

Did you like my song? Good.

The verse is a timely commentary on KRLD Restaurant Week, an annual Dallas shit show tradition. I didn't know whether I was going to comment or not, but then I received messages from readers asking me why I wasn't going to any of those restaurants...


Because the meals cost more than $12.50, you dumb fucks.

Then, another friend of mine inquired on a much more sensible note-- why I wasn't bitching about Restaurant Week (as usual) for the far more relevant and important topic:

The influx of undesirables.

I'm not going to bash the charitable nature of Restaurant Week. It's a wonderful thing. What's not wonderful are the fucking undesirables. You know who I'm talking about-- the ones that wear an Affliction t-shirt to dine at Lucia or Abacus or Komali and think pâté is something used during the bricklaying process. Stick to Chili's, assholes.

You and I both know where these heathens hail from-- places like low-rent AMLI properties, The Village, or--dare I say it-- the fucking suburbs.

Ugh. Even typing it sends shivers down the spine and churns the stomach. I still haven't figured out why we haven't passed legislation banning individuals from commuting into Dallas proper from north of 635; I've written several compelling letters to local legislators.

So, as charitable as it may be, you wouldn't find me at my favorite spots this week even if this endeavor didn't exist. I have no interest in getting lice.