Day 16: Awkward ethnic marketing is...awkward.

THIS BLOG CONTAINS LOTS OF BAD WORDS, SO DON'T READ IT WITH YOUR MOTHER.

What in the fucking.

That's exactly what I said after I ate lunch. You would too.

I once again made the mistake choice of venturing into plebeian palace, AKA the food court. This time, I was on a mission-- to eat something even worse than that rubber shit.

GREAT SUCCESS!

Well, it was more like mildly offensive and somewhat off-putting success, because I ate Burguesa Burger. It's a Mexican hamburger joint.

The first problem is the name of the place itself. It makes me think BURGER BURGER. The second problem is that this is like me opening a Japanese spaghetti stand. YOU CAN'T JUST PICK AN ETHNICITY AND "ADD" IT TO RANDOM FOOD. It has to be a more calculated decision than that.

And the shit show continued.

My colleague went ahead and ordered "La Monumental," which is essentially this place's racist version of The Whopper or Big Mac. It also looks like a pile of horse shit:

It's a double patty burger with...you guessed it, "Mexican" garnish like a fucking tortilla and some avocado paste.

Really?

I didn't want to die from the SARS my colleague most likely contracted from eating the Mexi-burger, so I went with a chicken sandwich:

It looks so...deflated. And it tasted like a deflated rubber chicken. I don't know what the fuck was on this thing, so I took a peek:

Goddamnit.

At least it tasted like chicken (albeit rubber), so I can't complain about that. What really bothered me was that my meal came with A MEXICAN FORTUNE COOKIE:

This is wrong. And disgusting. Fortune cookies usually taste like meh. This tasted like sour milk that was wrung out of cheesecloth someone found under a pile of dead cats.

And the fortune. Or should I say, "generic statements of goodwill from non-existent Hispanic individuals." My fortune was from Jose (I SHIT YOU NOT) and my colleague's was from Maria. This is worse than the Confucius says shit.

I was so disturbed I went back downstairs, expressed my displeasure to the food servant behind the counter, and then induced vomiting by drinking a gallon of ipecac.

P.S. I was going to make a joke about the whole Lucky Taco thing, but I figured that was too lowbrow for such a classy blog.