This is the end of our story.
It can't be! I love this man! I want his babies!
These are all normal thoughts you are experiencing. Unfortunately, we all fall short one time or another. I ultimately fell short interacting with plebeians and other common folk.
You may be thinking I lost because I cracked. Perhaps the Steakhouse Shakes™ were more than he could take!
Nope.
You know what did me in, over halfway through this debacle?
CHIPOTLE.
That's right. The generic "Tex-Mex for hipsters and their ignorant friends" place. Since I can't fucking add, I lost when my wife and I decided to grab a late lunch here on our way to an event. "It's cheap," I thought. "Surely this will be a quest even the simplest of simpletons would dispatch with ease."
Wrong. Fucking wrong.
Without further ado, the shitty meal that did me in:
Yes, that's shredded white people, Ecto Cooler vomit, and a bunch of other generic Mexican shit in a paper bowl. Yes, that's a fucking Dos Equis. How can I eat at Chipotle without drinking alcohol to wash my sorrows down?
It turns out that my meal was a shred over $12.50. I tried to take the guacamole back, but they'd have none of that. So I enjoyed my fail meal in peace.
My wife was pleased. Just so you know, if I lost this bet, I was supposed to do another thirty days of cheap meals-- but this time, under $10.00 per meal.
Fuck that. I need a goddamned man's meal.
